


You Healed My Heart (after it was almost stopped)

by WastedSanity



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Hurt Tony Stark, Irondad, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, spiderson, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 07:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16572557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WastedSanity/pseuds/WastedSanity
Summary: He had already accepted that all he was worth was Iron Man, after all.....AKA.Tony Stark is more broken after Siberia than he’d like to admit, and Peter is there to pick up the pieces.





	You Healed My Heart (after it was almost stopped)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a different approach to writing for me-especially for an MCU fanfiction.
> 
> I usually use this style on one of my Hamilton fanfictions, but because I mainly use it to write for myself and showcase feelings in a rushed and unpolished way, I decided it’d be neato to use for some Tony Stark angst. 
> 
> This fic was mainly written because I was craving some serious angst after indulging in a ridiculous amount of fluff, and I thought it’d be interesting to mess around with the after-effects of Siberia.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this messy thing ;)

A choked sob was a plea. Please, please don’t leave me in this place. All alone and cold and no one even knows-

The suit comes ten minutes later.

But Steve never does.

.

The doctor talks to him calmly and softly, as if he can sense the turmoil raging in the billionaire’s mind. The woman tells him that they had to perform emergency surgery to remove the shrapnel from his chest-tells him that if he had arrived even an hour later he would’ve died because of the injuries he sustained in Siberia.

Tony can only barely avoid throwing up at the thought of the bunker, of the cold seeping into the metal his body was encased in, and the way it couldn’t provide any sort of warmth due to the Arc Reactor being damaged.

He left him there to die. They were friends, and he left him to die-chose the man who killed Tony’s parents over him.

Inhaling a shuddering breath, he nods at the doctor. Said woman takes the hint and leaves the room after muttering something about checking on him later.

When he’s finally alone, Tony allows the carefully crafted mask to crumble like it hasn’t in awhile. The betrayal burns through his body with a vengeance, but at the same time, he knows that deep down, he had expected it.

He wasn’t good enough for anyone- not even the ones he once considered family. Not even his blood family. Not Pepper. Not Rhodey. God, he had even screwed his own best friend over-no wonder no one stuck around him. He ruined them all. Slowly, but surely.

For a little bit, Tony entertains the thought of messing with the instruments around him that are connected to his body. And why not? What would be so bad about the travesty that is his life to vanish? 

Just as quickly as the thoughts came, though, they were gone. 

His life was not his anymore. His life was not Tony Stark anymore. It was Iron Man. He sacrificed everything he had to the mantle of armor he wore often, and even though it glistened like an angel, underneath the beautiful guise it robbed everything he held dear like a mad thief.

Everything comes at a cost. Everything has a price to match how much it was worth. Iron Man’s cost was everything. 

And in return, it gave others happiness, safety, freedom, hope- 

The price to be paid was high, but it was just his. Tony Stark’s worth was determined by what he created-by how much he could create. His worth was determined by Iron Man. So there was no reason to fight it anymore. Tony has never been able to live up to expectations, so he found it easy to settle into the dull realization that his life was just something useful. 

For just a little bit, the superhero allowed himself to break into himself. To sob as he felt himself fall apart.

Not an hour later, the perfect mask was back. 

But underneath, it was cold.

.

Peter had wormed his way into Tony’s heart like a virus.

One day, he was giving Tony a mini heart attack by fighting the Vulture, and the next he was coming by the-now not being sold-tower every Wednesday and Sunday. 

Tony reluctantly admitted to himself that they were his favorite days of the week.

The kid looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky, and took nothing from him. He just gave. And gave. And gave.

The affection Tony had secretly and desperately craved was gifted to him unrelentingly. Smiles and words and gentle touches were a constant, and the former playboy found himself becoming dependent on it. 

He hated it. 

He used to depend on the team’s banter, their laughs and high-fives and team bonding nights-he would thrive on it. 

That was also when Pepper had still put up with him. 

When it had all disappeared in the span of a few days, he was left reeling and feeling the excruciating pain that came with having what you loved stripped from you. 

And now he was doing it again-enjoying the warmth of affection. He’s warned himself numerous times to draw back, to distance himself so he doesn’t have to add more pain to the ocean of it already existing inside his mind.

But then the kid would be over for the next lab day, and the need for affection would come back so harshly Tony wanted to cry. 

(he did, once, lying alone in an empty penthouse that used to be comforting and used to feel like home but was now-)

Peter gave him everything he needed, whether he wanted to admit it or not, and because of that, Tony had become insanely attached.

Strictly lab and training days evolved into movie marathons and nights staying up until two in the morning working on some kind of technology. Increasingly often, afternoons became Tony picking the teenager up from school and going to lunch before dropping him off at his apartment. 

Even that eventually evolved into Tony internally referring to Peter as ‘his kid’ and becoming extraordinarily protective of him.

(“You’re such a mother-hen.” Peter laughs, curled easily into the billionaire’s side as an episode of Star Trek plays on the tv. 

“Wouldn’t it be more of a father-hen at this point? I mean, with the whole ‘dad’ thing and all.” Tony retorts, grinning at the way Peter’s face flushes bright and he buries his face into his hands.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark- it was an accident! I won’t-“ The spiderling starts, but Tony waves him off before he can begin his rambling.

“Kid, if I had a problem with it, you’d know. I think it’s pretty adorable, in all honesty. And now I can refer you to you as ‘my kid’ without feeling weird about it.” The older superhero says, pulling the smaller boy further into his side.

Peter is absolutely beaming.)

 

After Tony was finally content with his relationship with Peter-the father’s day mug was the most used coffee cups he owned and Peter knew it-Rhodey arrived at the Tower with news.

(“The Rogues are being pardoned. The government decided they’d be more useful fighting with us rather than against us. They compromised.” His best friend had told him, and suddenly he wasn’t feeling warm anymore.

The cold that had seemed to seep into his bones in Siberia rushed back full force, and Tony felt the mask he hadn’t had to use in awhile go up over his features once again.

“The government is requesting they stay here again so you all can function as the Avengers like before.” The Colonel finishes, and there’s a bitter expression on his face because he is fully aware that it was a disgusting request. 

Tony took a moment to take a breath, and felt the him behind the mask dull for a moment.

He knew he should accept. He knew the world needed the Avengers. He knew he shouldn’t be selfish. 

He had already accepted that all he was worth was Iron Man, after all.

But yet, he hesitated. Thoughts of Peter entered his mind, making him remember that moments when he felt that he was human too. That he was more than just Iron Man. That he was allowed to be happy.

That he didn’t have to automatically forgive Siberia just because it was expected of him. 

That he was allowed to feel emotions.

“They can stay at the Compound. Whenever there’s a mission, we can group up. Their permission to enter the Tower has already been revoked, and I really don’t feel like reinstating it-especially because this is Stark Tower now-not Avengers Tower.” Tony had told Rhodey, and the man seemed happy with the answer as he nodded before reaching forward to pull the billionaire into a hug.

Tony decided to let himself enjoy it.)

**Author's Note:**

> Wew, anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! ^v^


End file.
